No Beer for ME, thanks!

FLAVOR00-NONE-0000-0000-000000000000 ;

 

 

 

    Gotta love those Germans!

I don't care what kind of beer it is,

            it ain't gonna taste the same served this way!! 

                        Sort of gives a whole new meaning to getting pissed....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Old 2 Gauge Shotgun!

BigShotgun.wmv Watch on Posterous

Here's a gun you could get a perfect score with!

Old 2 Gauge Shotgun How would you like to shoot this one? During the civil war, they were used to bring down flocks of geese and ducks to feed the soldiers. They drew straws to see who had to put their shoulder behind it and pull the trigger. They have one on display in the museum in Gettysburg.

 

 

 

 

 

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1950 Chevy with only 437 miles

Even the original tires and 'air' are from 1950!!

 

1950 Chevrolet Club Coupe, 437 original miles, only 3 owners. Check out  the dealer installed "oil filter", the rusty carb, and you can even see the spark plugs if they need to be Changed.

 

Purchased new by Mr. and Mrs. Jessie Trueblood of Modesto, CA.  Shortly after purchasing this car, Mr. Trueblood took a day off to go fishing. While waiting for the "big one" to bite he witnessed a woman fall out of  her boat. Mr. Trueblood jumped in to help, only to fall victim of a fatal heart attack. Mrs. Trueblood returned the car home and placed it in the garage for the next 12 years. The odometer reading at that time (1962) was 413 miles.

Mrs. Trueblood lived next door to a used car lot owned by Mr. William E. Wilson (now 81 years old).  Mr. Wilson spoke with her frequently and often told her he would like to buy the car for himself to keep. In 1962 the time had come.  Mrs. Trueblood told Mr. Wilson she needed a car for her bookkeeper who didn't really care for the old Chevy and would prefer a Rambler.

 

No problem - Mr. Wilson went down to the local Rambler dealer and bought a brand new one for $1,650.00 ($100.00 over cost) and made the swap.

 

He then took the Chevy home and parked it with 433 actual miles. And there it sat for the next 45 years, occasionally being started and moved in and out of the garage.  In 2007 Mr. Wilson decided to sell the car and started spreading the word around Modesto that the old Chevy, with 433 miles on it, was for sale.  Many had heard about the car, but hardly anyone had ever laid eyes on it. In fact, according to Mr. Wilson, he only showed the car to about 5 people in 45 years.  Word spread quickly about the car and soon a buyer arrived ready and willing to pay the $60,000 asking price. When Mr. Wilson told the story of this car he complained heavily of  the "capital gains" tax he was required to pay and wished he had never sold it. As of this writing, Mr. Wilson is still alive and well in Modesto and can verify the miles and originality of this car. Simply put, this is a true 100% factory original survivor (that includes the air in the tires). This old Chevy now has 437 original miles and is most likely the world's lowest mileage 1950 Chevy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Fw: Nissan Pathfinder

!!!!!Nissan_Pathfinder_JY.WMV Watch on Posterous

Nissan Pathfinder

 

> > If you are considering a Nissan Pathfinder or any other car with an
> > 'independent front suspension', this little commercial should prove to
> > be helpful in understanding the concept before making your purchasing
> > decision.
> >
> > An 'independent front suspension' system, is when one front wheel of a
> > vehicle hits a bump or pothole, will move up or down to compensate
> > while the other wheel remains steady. Both wheels are independent of
> > each other, and hence the expression.
> >
> >
> > Watch the attached video all the way to the end. It is a German
> > commercial for the Nissan Pathfinder. This gives a moving experience
> > which should benefit your understanding of this piece of engineering.
> > It's arguably the best explanation I've ever seen.
> >
> > P.S. The Germans obviously have much better ads than we do.

 

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Chernobyl 20 years on. NSFW

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ELK TOWN

  SHOWDOWN IN ELK TOWN....ESTES PARK COLORADO....

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Colonoscopy - hysterical

This is so hysterical even if you've read it before...

 

This is one of the funniest things I have ever read.  If you ever had a colonoscopy or are planning on one, you can't miss this one!


ABOUT THE WRITER

Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.


Colonoscopy Journal:

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.

A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.

I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP MY BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven.  I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of  America's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation.  In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons).. Then you have to drink the whole jug.  This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch?  This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt.

You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently.  You eliminate everything.  And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.  After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous.  Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage.  I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?'  How do you apologize to a friend for something like that?  Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down.  Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.  At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode.  You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist.  I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere.  I was seriously nervous at this point.

Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.

There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA.  I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.

'Ha ha,' I said.  And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade.  If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea.  Really.  I slept through it.  One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt.  I felt excellent.

I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that IT was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

On the subject of Colonoscopies....  Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'

2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know, in  Arkansas, we're now legally married.'

6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'

10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?' 

 12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

And the best one of all: 

 13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?' 
 

 

 

 

 

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