Facebook Version of World War II

Facebook Version of World War II

Posted via email from danny6114's Pre- posterous

CAN YOU TELL THE FRONT FROM THE BACK OF A TREE?

   

DO YOU KNOW THE FRONT FROM THE BACK OF A TREE?

A REDNECK FROM GEORGIA DECIDES TO TRAVEL ACROSS THE SOUTH TO VIRGINIA TO
SEE GOD'S  COUNTRY.

WHEN HE GETS TO FRANKLIN , HE LIKES THE PLACE SO MUCH THAT HE DECIDES TO
STAY. BUT FIRST HE MUST FIND A  JOB!!!!

HE WALKS INTO THE INTERNATIONAL PAPER COMPANY OFFICE  AND FILLS OUT AN
APPLICATION AS AN EXPERIENCED LOG INSPECTOR. IT'S HIS LUCKY DAY!!!

THEY JUST HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING FOR  SOMEONE, BUT FIRST, THE LOG FOREMAN
TAKES HIM FOR A RIDE INTO THE  FOREST IN THE COMPANY PICKUP TRUCK TO SEE
HOW MUCH HE KNOWS. THE  FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND
POINTS AT A  TREE. 'SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE? I WANT YOU TO TELL ME  WHAT
SPECIES IT IS AND HOW MANY BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IT  CONTAINS.'

THE REDNECK PROMPTLY ANSWERS, 'THAT THAR'S A  WHITEPINE, 383 BOARD FEET OF
LUMBER IN 'ER.'

THE FOREMAN  IS IMPRESSED!!! HE PUTS THE TRUCK IN MOTION AND STOPS ABOUT  A
MILE DOWN THE ROAD. HE POINTS AT ANOTHER TREE THROUGH THE  PASSENGER WINDOW
AND ASKS THE SAME QUESTION. THIS TIME, IT'S A  BIGGER TREE OF A DIFFERENT
CLASS.

'THAT'S A LOBLOLLY PINE  AND SHE'S GOT ABOUT 456 CLEAR BOARD FEET.'

THE FOREMAN IS  REALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE GOOD OL' BOY, HE HAS BEEN QUICK
AND GOT  THE ANSWERS RIGHT WITHOUT USING A CALCULATOR!!!!

ONE MORE  TEST. THEY DRIVE A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD, AND THE  FOREMAN
STOPS AGAIN. THIS TIME, HE POINTS ACROSS THE ROAD THROUGH  HIS DRIVER SIDE
WINDOW AND SAYS, 'AND WHAT ABOUT THAT  ONE?'

BEFORE THE FOREMAN FINISHES POINTING, THE REDNECK SAYS,  'WHITE OAK, 242
BOARD FEET AT BEST.'

THE FOREMAN SPINS THE  TRUCK AROUND AND HEADS BACK TO THE OFFICE A LITTLE
TICKED OFF  BECAUSE HE THINKS THE RED NECK IS SMARTER THAN HE IS. AS  THEY
NEAR THE OFFICE, THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK AND ASKS BUBBA  TO STEP
OUTSIDE.

HE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF CHALK AND TELLS  HIM, 'SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE?'
'I WANT YOU TO MARK AN X ON THE  FRONT OF THAT TREE!!'

THE FOREMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF, 'IDIOT,  HOW WOULD HE KNOW WHICH IS THE
FRONT OF THE TREE?'

WHEN  BUBBA REACHES THE TREE, HE GOES AROUND IT IN A CIRCLE  WHILE
LOOKING AT THE GROUND. HE THEN REACHES UP AND PLACES A  WHITE X ON THE
TRUNK. HE WALKS BACK TO THE FOREMAN AND HANDS HIM  THE CHALK. 'THAT THAR'S
THE FRONT,' THE REDNECK SAYS..

THE  FOREMAN LAUGHS TO HIMSELF AND ASKS SARCASTICALLY, 'HOW IN THE HELL  DO
YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FRONT OF THE TREE?'

THE GOOD OL'  BOY LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET, WHILE RUBBING THE TOE OF HIS  LEFT
BOOT CLEANING IT IN THE GRAVEL AND REPLIES, 'CUZ SOMEBODY  TOOK A CRAP
BEHIND IT!'

HE GOT THE JOB AND IS NOW THE  FOREMAN!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Posted via email from danny6114's Pre- posterous

Can you read this .....I Did the first time

Can you read this .....I Did the first time

7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY W17H 0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17, B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15. PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F U C4N R34D 7H15

Posted via email from danny6114's Pre- posterous

An Ode To Right Wingers

From Truthout.com by Dwaldon13

Dwaldon13

Collapse

Graphs and charts and meaningless words
Matter not to right-wing birds
They fly in circular patterns each day
To land at the same spot where they pray

"Oh lord, deliver U.S. from evil
From science, altruism and blue boll weevils
Holy father we pray in your name
Ask U.S. not to be progressive, humane

Allow to bask in mythological glory
The wine of superstition to sweeten your story
Forgive U.S. our trespasses, our prejudice then
We'll "bathe" on Sunday and start over...again

Posted via email from danny6114's Pre- posterous

THE ARROGANCE OF AUTHORITY

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.

He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded and cut him off mid sentence saying,

"Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me !"

Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge a nd proudly displayed it to the rancher.

"See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land !!

No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear sir ......do you understand ?!!"

The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......

       

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.

The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Your badge, show him your BADGE....... !"

 

 

http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb113&pp=ZNxdm824YYUS" width="1" />

 

 

 

Posted via email from danny6114's Pre- posterous